Tips From a Single Mom
Parents, trust me, I know how it feels when your child tells you they want to travel. It’s scary enough when they want to travel on a class trip, or cross state lines with friends for spring break. But when your daughter tells you she wants to solo travel abroad, your fear and the negative thoughts kick into high gear.
Safety for my children has always been an integral part of their childhood. As a single mom, there are lots of moments where I can’t be with my children at all times.
Ever since they were in kindergarten, I’ve used a “password” with my kids. “Hi, I’m your mom’s friend and she told me to come pick you up from school today.” My kids knew to respond with, “What’s the password?”.
Anyone that I would ask to come pick them up from school, practice, or a game would know the password. And if this person didn’t know the password, they knew not to go with them, and to go find a trusted adult. My now adult son and daughter (ages 32 and 28), and I recently had a good laugh about our family password.
From a young age, something as simple as a family password instilled safety, agency, and empowerment into my children. These attributes made going through life a little less scary for them and for me as well. Knowing I had children that were not afraid to question authority when something didn’t feel right, made them into adults that made trustworthy and sound decisions.
Over the years, so many moms have asked me how I allow my kids to travel abroad, and that was with a structured organization doing the planning. I have even been asked when I travel with my kids, am I not afraid something will happen?
My answer is always, an accident, violence, theft, injury, sickness, lost luggage, and discrimination can happen anywhere. It can happen in my own home country, city, neighborhood and even in my own home.
There are some things that you can control and others that you have no control over.
The idea is to begin early to teach your kids to make good decisions and most of all Trust Their Gut! If something does not feel right, look right – take heed, because it probably isn’t right.
Preparing For Your Daughter to Solo Travel
Now that my daughter has had the experience of travelling solo, here is my best advice to parents, families, and friends that are afraid to allow their daughters to solo travel.
1. Know Your Daughter
Talk to your daughter(s) when they are young. Listen to her thoughts and feelings – without being critical. Even if you disagree, understand her thoughts are her own. You may have a difference of opinion, but respect that she at least has her own ideas and mindset. You are helping to build your daughter’s self esteem and confidence.
This sense of self will definitely come in handy when it comes to navigating life in general. Be it in personal relationships, the workplace, or in a souk in Morocco halfway across the world; having a strong sense of self will take you far and may even help you avoid some sticky situations.
2. Do Not Be a Fear Monger
Do not fill your daughter with the scary boogey man abroad stories. Because in reality, the boogie man could also be lurking right in your own backyard. Instead, arm your daughter with knowledge and skills that will help her in the case something goes wrong. This leads me to my next tip:
3. What is Your Daughter’s Safety Plans?
Most safety rules that your daughter has learned all her life, still apply when she’s abroad. Such as:
Don’t talk to strangers.
Treat others how you want to be treated.
Look both ways before crossing the street.
Never get in a strange man’s car.
If lost try to ask a female for directions.
These classic rules of life can be critical to keeping your daughter safe when she’s solo traveling. Now of course she’s bound to talk to a stranger every now and then when alone in another country. But divulging information about where she’s staying, what her travel plans are, and that she’s traveling alone might not be the best idea.
For example, say: “I’m staying in a hostel in the area.” As opposed to, “I’m at the hostel right around the corner from here.”
“I’m meeting up with some friends in Spain after this.” Instead of, “I’m traveling by myself and I’m not sure where I’m staying yet when I get to Madrid.”
Ultimately, your daughter should be tactful and use discretion when sharing information about herself. Some quick safety tips for your daughter:
- GET TRAVEL INSURANCE!!! (I cannot stress this enough)
- Knowing the phone/address of the hotel or hostel and how get there from airport/train
- Stay alert and be aware of your surroundings at all times
- Carry a whistle or small pull alarm with you
- Be careful with your phone, passport, cards, and money in crowded areas
- Wear a money belt under your clothes for your passport, cash and bank cards
- Always have your passport nearby
4. Talk to Your Daughter About Her Travel Plans
Before your daughter leaves home — Have a discussion: Where is her desired travel destination? What does she want to see and do? What will be her mode of transportation from one city to another? Will she be staying in hotels, hostels or couch surfing?
Conversations about these topics will make your daughter and you more comfortable with her travel plans. It’s also the perfect opportunity to do your research. Read blogs, books, and travel guides. You will see that your daughter is not the first woman to travel to that country alone. Here’s a great blog for more safety tips for female solo travel.
Talking things out and planning will also give you the perfect opportunity to create a realistic budget. So your daughter knows when to save and when to splurge. And more importantly she won’t end up in a foreign country with only $100 left due to poor planning and budgeting.
Something else that can help is having access to your daughter’s itinerary and a copy of her important travel documents before she leaves home.
5. Be Excited About Your Daughter’s Solo Plans
Meeting other travelers and the locals is part of the journey. My daughter has made life long friends during her time solo traveling.
Solo travel does not have to be done on your own! this is the perfect opportunity to meet that Aunt that lives in Thailand. Or stay in your old college roommate’s cottage in Finland.
Travel is a great way to reconnect and create a true sense of community in a large world.
The more your daughter solo travels the more she will learn about herself and the culture, traditions and norms of others around the world.
More Solo Travel Tips for Our Daughters
- When alone, ride buses, trains, taxis and Ubers during daytime hours, if possible.
- Be polite, but not too nice – Never be afraid to say, “NO!”
- Know what clothes are appropriate for your destination i.e. when entering a temple in Thailand, covered shoulders and knees are required.
- Know simple phrases in your destination’s native language – Hello, Goodbye, Yes, No, and Thank you!
- Don’t be afraid to ask for a passerby to take your picture for you
- Say yes to thing outside of your comfort zone – trying new foods, going salsa dancing
- When lost – stay on busy streets when possible
- know the emergency number to your country’s Embassy in case of emergency
- Get a local SIM card to make phone calls
- Download Google Translate on your phone before you leave home
- Buy Travel Insurance – Janine uses Safety Wing Travel Insurance
- Click here to buy monthly travel insurance with Safety Wing
1. Always Have a Plan B when traveling abroad
Inevitably, things may not always go to plan during your travels. But having a back up plan will help you remain calm and make sound decisions amid what feels like utter chaos. I can’t stress enough having a quality travel insurance in the case of medical emergency, lost luggage or flight cancellations or delays. My daughter and I both get insured with Safety Wing.com whenever we travel abroad.
2. In Case of Emergency Fund
In case of theft, loss, or another financial emergency, have a way to receive money from home. Western Union, MoneyGram, World Remit, to name a few are some ways to send/receive money internationally. I always keep a few dollars available in case my daughter needs it when traveling solo.
3. Keep Up to Date on Your Destination
The pandemic has shown how everything can change in the blink of an eye. A country may open or close their borders fairly quickly. Always check your country’s travel website and rules for flight transfers. And know where your country’s embassy is located!
CC says
Thank you so much! I’m lying awake filled with anxiety about my 19 yr old daughter heading off travelling solo to Morocco tomorrow. Loved the pictures of your daughter enjoying her travels and all the reassuring words and advice.
Carla says
I’m so glad to hear it! And I hope your daughter has an amazing time in Morocco, it’s a beautiful country with so much to offer! You should be a proud mom for raising a confident person ready to take on the world of travel!