There are times in everyone’s life when you must make a choice, take a chance, and trust your instincts. These moments are opportunities to not block your blessings. For my family, that moment came about 14 years ago. My then 16-year-old son, Miles came home from high school one afternoon, saying he wanted to travel to Japan as an exchange student.
As a single mom of two, I heard what he was saying to me, but honestly I was not listening. The things he was telling about studying abroad went in one ear and out the other. In my mind, it just wasn’t realistic for him to be going anywhere — especially all the way to Japan.
A few days later, my son came from school again. This time with a brochure given to him by his government teacher. It was about American Field Service (AFS), a high school intercultural exchange program. I learned that this program had been a part of our local high school since the 1950s.
So, what was I supposed to do with this information? Although I glanced at the brochure, all I could hear in my head was my fear speaking to me:
How could I afford something like this?
Who sends their child to another country alone?
Who will care for my son?
What if he does not like it?
Who will keep him safe?
What if this Japanese host family does not like him?
And most importantly, how will he get around when he doesn’t even speak Japanese?
My trail of questioning transitioned from, ‘it’s definitely not happening’ to ‘what if it happened’. But those “what ifs” nearly prevented my son from having an incredible life-changing experience.
Japan Here He Comes!
Through his persistence and my desire to provide my children with every opportunity I can… To make a long story short, Miles did travel to Japan. He was and AFS foreign exchange student on a summer culture and language program. He stayed with a Japanese host family and studied the Japanese Language. And ultimately he ended up having the time of his life. Not to mention that when he returned home at the end of the summer, his confidence was through the roof.
Our Turn to Give Back
One night at dinner, Miles asked if we could become a host family for a foreign exchange student. To me, this seemed like a pretty big ask. My son had just returned not too long ago. My daughter at the time was just about to enter the 8th grade. Another mouth to feed. Another person to take care of. And another responsibility.
And again…the questions and the “what ifs”. What if this exchange student got sick? How would I handle it if the student did not like us? What if we don’t like them? Will they be able to handle the academics at our school?
Hosting Our First High School Foreign Exchange Student
Again, my son’s perseverance won. It only made sense that someone on the other side of the world was kind enough to open their heart an their home to my son. it was only right to pay that same kindness forward. So, in 2008, we hosted our very first foreign exchange student, a girl from Tema, Ghana named Freda.
Since we decided so close to the school year we only had a choice the lastgirl remaining in the pool of students. From her profile we learned that our exchange student had sickle cell disease.
At that point my head was really spinning. I was really thinking, what in the hell did I get myself into? Volunteering to host this girl for an entire school year. A few short weeks later, I had no choice but to lay in the bed I made for myself and my family. After picking her up from the airport, we hit the ground running.
An to my surprise, everything was… normal. I just followed my instincts, I did for her what I would do for my own kids. We found medical care close to home, that had experts in sickle cell disease. She got involved in the school choir and clubs. Freda made her own friends, and went to senior prom. And she really lived the life of an active teenager.
A Forever Family
Having Freda in our home was an amazing experience. I’m so grateful that she was my first taste of what hosting was like. However, sadly, in 2022, my heart was broken with the news that my Freda, a lovely 31-year-old woman, passed away, due to complications after giving birth to her third child.
I realized that this was the beginning of our family learning about ourselves, and other cultures of the world, through hosting foreign exchange students.
Because of Miles’ perseverance, this was the moment that changed everything. This experience thrust our family into a world of culture, volunteerism, hosting and the curiosity to travel the world. And it all started with a question, “Mom, can I go to Japan as an exchange student?”
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